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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 16, 2020 23:37:46 GMT
Someone up there hated him, that was the only explanation Dazai had for the sight in front of him.
Chuuya, struggling to get himself into a t-shirt that was never meant for him in the first place.
If Chuuya knew how cute Dazai thought he looked right now he'd punch him. Right in the jaw and clock him out for even thinking it.
He took a small measure of pity on him and walked over, shifting the hole of the shirt so Chuuya's head could come through. "You got those from the third drawer didn't you?"
When Chuuya nodded Dazai smiled a little. "They're mine, I didn't recognize them last night (liar), so they're ummm a little too big for you."
He sat down on the bed. "How did you sleep?"
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Post by Behax on Apr 17, 2020 11:32:05 GMT
“Oh, thank you,” he said once Dazai had helped him with the shirt. He nodded in response to Dazai’s question as he pulled the pj bottoms back on under the covers, careful to not accidentally flash his friend.
Well he supposed that explained why these clothes were so big on him. He looked a little sheepish.
“I’m sorry...I didn’t realise.” And then. “You have your own draw in my house?” Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) for Dazai Chuuya was missing the contextual clues to put the real implications of that together.
I think I slept okay. I think I had a dream about something, but I can’t remember what it was.” His brow furrowed as he tried to recall, but nothing came back to him. He felt like it might have been something important.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 17, 2020 12:10:40 GMT
Dazai had to smile at how naive Chuuya was, it made him sad to think that this wasn't even the first time he'd woken up not knowing his own life.
The thought of Chuuya having dreams was a little unsettling. Because Dazai was well aware of what sort of activity Chuuya could get to in his sleep. Floating above the bed wasn't even the worst of the problems. He'd once shaken an entire hotel during a nightmare when they were 16.
It had been shortly after the dragons head conflict, corruption always did like to leave lingering traces of itself. Maybe that's why his mind had closed itself off this time. To stave off the nightmares.
He also wondered if Chuuya's ability was asleep as well as his memories. No one knew where they resided, be it blood or bone, or were they truly just shiny diamonds inside them, waiting to be plucked out.
Yosano would flay him for what he was about to do. But the Chuuya he knew always acted better on his feet.
So when Chuuya passed by him towards the kitchen Dazai slipped his foot out just enough to send him toppling forward, pulling back before full contact could be made and FTTS could be nullified.
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Post by Behax on Apr 17, 2020 12:37:48 GMT
Well he clearly hadn’t been expecting it when Dazai tripped him, Chuuya threw his hands out in front of himself to break his fall. A normal reaction by most standards. Except he never hit the floor. It took him a moment of realising that he hadn’t collided with a hard surface, before opening his eyes and finding himself caught mid fall, with a red glow surrounding him.
Very slowly he was able to right himself.
“What….What was that?”
The glow faded and he looked to Dazai for answers to this new mystery. At the same time he became aware that the constant static at the back of his mind had momentarily grown louder, and then quietened down again. Though it didn’t disappear. In its wake was a dull ache, it hurt enough to make him wince a little, and rub at the back of his head.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 17, 2020 14:57:04 GMT
"that was your ability," Dazai said. "Do you have any knowledge of ability users at all?"
He wondered if Chuuya still retained his knowledge of French and other things basic world information should exist. Ability users weren't an unknown factor.
"You can manipulate gravity of anything you touch, including your own."
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Post by Behax on Apr 17, 2020 16:59:44 GMT
It took a little bit for his mind to catch up, nodding slowly at the question about ability users. It at the very least didn’t sound impossible to him, and wasn’t causing him to freak out.
He looked at his hands as Dazai explained what his ability was. It was similar but also different from the way Chuuya often looked at his hands. Now he looked with wonder, where as before it was with concern and sometimes horror. Chuuya as he was now had no idea of the kind of destruction he was capable of.
“What about you? Do you have an ability?” He asked, an innocent question, at least to him.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 17, 2020 17:41:16 GMT
Dazai's smile didn't reach his eyes, they grew opaque as he spoke, like a void had opened up inside of him.
"You could say I am the "anti" ability. I negate them. Anyone I touch will be incapable of using their power so long as we are in contact. I also can't be hurt by anyone's ability." (Can't be saved by them either but that's another story)
His perusal of the kitchen found coffee, wine, an expired box of French pastries, and more wine.
Dazai was a bit shocked considering Chuuya was usually the sort to keep his pantry stocked. Even with a few of the odd and cheap canned Staples. Something was wrong with this but he didn't have time to wonder what had been brewing in Chuuya's mind before all this.
He explained away the need for Chuuya to join him simply because he didn't want to overwhelm him.
Having no idea where he actually shopped (dazai suspected Chuuya paid a service) he wouldn't be able to guarantee he was even introducing Chuuya to the familiar.
And so he left, hoping that when he got back he had forgotten the curious wonder in Chuuya's eyes and how much it hurt to know Chuuya couldn't see his power with that sort of innocence
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Post by Behax on Apr 17, 2020 18:17:45 GMT
Dazai had Chuuya’s full attention as he spoke and explained what his own ability did. Though he could tell there was something a little off as Dazai spoke. He watched Dazai rummage around in the kitchen...His kitchen for something to eat, and found himself a little disappointed when told to sit tight.
Left alone in a home that was unfamiliar to him, Chuuya cast his eyes around for something to do. Finding nothing that really interested him right then, he turned his mind to this ability of his instead. First he concentrated on just lifting himself up, even walking up the wall and standing on his ceiling. It was as easy as child's play and something about it just felt natural.
He might have almost accidentally broken a few objects by testing out his control over them, but ultimately nothing was harmed.
After awhile he decided he should probably get dressed. He pulled a few items out of his walk in closest, a slightly more casual version of his every day wear. The pants weren’t as tight, but were just as expensive. He had a long sleeve shirt and one of his less expensive (but still expensive) waist coasts, no bolo tie.
While waiting for Dazai to return he ended up falling asleep on the couch. Clutched in his hands an old green jacket he hadn’t worn since his days as a member of sheep. Something Dazai might not have even known Chuuya still even owned.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 17, 2020 18:38:11 GMT
"you left him alone!" Kouyou seethed. She wasn't even shouting and yet Dazai winced.
"What other option did I have?" He said, struggling to keep his phone pressed to his ear while loading up a shopping basket. Chuuya's credit card was tucked neatly into his pocket.
"It doesn't take a genius to have groceries delivered."
"He's not a child"
"He might as well be for all the memory he has! Do you care so little about--"
"I doubt you would have a grasp of the depth of my feelings for him ane-san." Dazai bit back. He was *trying*, he was trying so hard. Between the guilt of not getting there in time, his inability to just pull Chuuya in and hold him, and spending the night curled up alone on the couch; he was exhausted physically and mentally and it had only been a day.
With morning further to add he hung up on kouyou and sent a short text asking Yosano to perhaps nudge Kyouka-chan into sending a short and sweet hello. Just to take the edge of the blade kouyou no doubt wanted to put to Dazais throat.
The apartment was silent when he got back, it set Dazais teeth on edge. Until he found Chuuya asleep on the couch.
The first thing that struck him was how small he looked. Chuuya was fiery passion, loud and boisterous. It wasn't right.
His chest ached when he recognized the jacket clutched in Chuuya's arms. Had he remembered? Did he know the significance of it? Was it still stained witb blood?
It was a mistake. He knew it was a mistake before he even did it. But he couldn't resist. He reached out to brush a stray strand away from Chuuya's face, only to end up flat on his back for the trouble, wheezing.
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Post by Behax on Apr 17, 2020 19:07:00 GMT
It happened so fast that Chuuya wasn’t even sure what had happened. He felt something brush his face, and pure instinct took over. He grabbed the hand, pulled the owner in close, kicked his ankle out from under him, before flipping them onto their back on the floor. Chuuya was still holding onto Dazai’s wrist, with his foot on Dazai’s chest. For a brief moment Dazai might have caught a glimpse of the Chuuya of old. However the visarge was gone in seconds, replaced by surprise and regret.
Chuuya let go of Dazai like he’d been burned, and looked so out of sorts. He clearly didn’t understand what had just happened or why. Dazai was probably lucky Chuuya hadn’t been in reach of the nearest hidden knife. Everything that had just happened had been instinct and muscle memory.
“Oh my god Osamu! I’m sorry. I….I didn’t mean...I don’t know h-how,” He was crouched down trying to help Dazai up onto the couch. “I’m s-sorry.” His jacket lay forgotten for now on the couch.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 17, 2020 21:49:01 GMT
"well," Dazai wheezed. "At least your reflexes haven't been forgotten." He stared up at the ceiling trying to ignore the fact that even in the midst of panic over Chuuya having no memories, the guilt at being responsible, and the shock of being flipped ass over tea kettle; he still got unreasonably turned on when Chuuya man handled him.
He cursed his body for being so stupidly enamored of the chibi. Now was not the time to be considering if sex would be a god damn cure all.
"I shouldn't have tried to wake you," he said sitting up, ignoring Chuuya's attempts to help him.
He eyed the jacket Chuuya had been gripping in his sleep. Sure enough, blood still stained it, though the years had turned it to a sort of horrid brown. A shoddy job had been done to stitch the hole left behind. Black thread, in mismatched zig zags, as though the hands holding the needle were shaking apart as they worked
"There's food," he murmured, walking off to the kitchen. His head was pounding and now his ass hurt as well. What a fucking day
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Post by Behax on Apr 18, 2020 13:40:17 GMT
“I’m really sorry.”
It was probably weird for Dazai to hear Chuuya be so sincerely apologetic. If that had happened any other time, Chuuya would have told Dazai it was his own fault. He should know the risks by now of waking him up without calling out or warning him first. Surprising him never did tend to end well.
Chuuya nodded, noty knowing what to do with the new tension in the air. He sat back down, and his hand brushed against the jacket. He looked at it and picked it up. He was going to ask Dazai about it, but he didn’t think it was a good idea anymore.
Still holding it gave him a weird sense of longing, anger, hurt and….Regret. It was clearly damaged, ruined even, but he’d held onto it, possibly for years.
As he held it out in front of himself, himself put a couple of the puzzle pieces together. Noticing the location of the stain and the shoddy sewing. One of his hands rather absently went to where the scar still was on his abdomen, the one he’d noticed in the shower the previous night. He winced at a vague and distant memory of what it had felt like to have a knife plunged into his side. He still couldn’t remember the details. But he could remember a boy, at least he thinks it was a boy, and he could remember the pain. Both the physical and the emotional, but not much else besides that.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 18, 2020 14:04:10 GMT
Chuuya's face was already an open book. It was even worse now. Dazai could see the moment something flashed for him. He looked pained, sad, and angry all at once.
Dazai didn't dare ask, not when he'd have to explain what it was and why he'd been there.
He never should have come back. He should have stayed out of Chuuya's life and kept himself away. All of his schemes and plans and he didn't have one single solution to the problem at hand.
Dazai was tempted to leave. To just walk out and never come back.
'thats what you always do isn't it?'
He could hear Chuuya and it made his chest ache. He did always leave. Left the port mafia, left Chuuya in the woods, left Chuuya in the rubble of draconia, hell he'd even left the first time they'd given in. He was back that very night, not even sure what had made him return.
He could see the moment part of Chuuya's memory had come back to him, because he could see the rage that had been there that day on the beach. That fiery anger that swore he'd pay for his crimes someday.
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Post by Behax on Apr 18, 2020 14:20:16 GMT
Chuuya wasn’t even sure what to do with such anger and pain, because that's the only part he could remember. He couldn’t remember the context, he couldn’t remember the parts of it that had been caused by Dazai, not even the later realisation that it was going to happen sooner or later and all Dazai had really done was speed up the inevitable. All he had was the hurt, and the sick feeling of a blade sinking into his skin.
The hand on his stomach gripped tighter at his shirt. He was trembling, and he was sure there were tears in his eyes. Why was he so upset? He tried to think, but it just made his head hurt. Gradually he began to remember what the boy looked like, but remembering that just made him hurt more.
Was it going to hurt like this every time he remembered something?
He dropped the jacket. Why would he keep something that had so much hurt and turmoil attached to it? It wasn’t like he could tell himself he still had it so he wouldn’t forget where he had come from.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 18, 2020 14:45:44 GMT
Dazai wasnt sure what made him do it. It wasn't something he'd ever asked anyone for. And he'd never known to Chuuya to ask either.
Someone's voice, he couldn't remember who, echoed in the back of his mind.
*"You don't always have to have the answer. Sometimes, you just need a hug"*
He crossed the apartment and hoping that he wouldn't end up flat on his back again, he reached out and pulled Chuuya to him in a hug.
It might get him smacked or even punched, but he didn't care. Chuuya had to face so much already by himself and Dazai knew that loneliness too well to have him face it alone again.
No more keeping him at a distance. If he was going to make this up to Chuuya then he was going to be there for him all the times he should have.
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