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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 22, 2020 11:34:30 GMT
Dazai winced, he was dead. There was no doubt about it.
Everything he'd been told not to do he'd done. He'd revealed too much. Given Chuuya too much to think about.
He cautiously sat down next to him and offered his hand. Chuuya told him once that his ability was the only thing that let him actually think and feel lkke it was only his thoughts
"I keep fucking up," he admitted.
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Post by Behax on Apr 23, 2020 16:15:34 GMT
Chuuya was a little hesitant, but he took the hand that was offered to him. It immediately silenced the white noise at the back of his mind. Taking into account what Dazai had said regarding their abilities, he supposed that white noise was part of his, if it went away when he was in contact with Dazai.
He gave a weak smile.
“At least you’re trying…..” Chuuya wasn’t sure if there was a ‘right’ way to do this. “It’s better than being alone.” He added before leaning closer to rest his head against Dazai’s shoulder. He didn’t know if that was crossing some line or something, but he just wanted to do it. Something about Dazai being there, physically, was comforting to him
He’d learnt a lot today already, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but it was at least a little easier to digest without all that noise in the back of his mind.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 23, 2020 16:30:28 GMT
Dazai stiffened for a moment when Chuuya leaned against him, but quickly shifted to wrap his arm around him and pull him closer.
This, this was actually pretty normal for them. Even when they were partners Chuuya often sought Dazai out for silence. It hadn't been much more than Dazai resting his hand on Chuuya's arm at first. In time it was more like they were now.
"I promised you, before all this," he explained. "That I wasn't leaving you...(again), and I don't lie in negotiations."
And of course, because he was a fool, he let himself give into the urge to kiss Chuuya's temple.
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Post by Behax on Apr 26, 2020 12:12:44 GMT
It was comforting to have Dazai hold him so close, he couldn’t explain why, but it made him feel secure….Safe even. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence that had descended in the wake of Dazai’s ability. How had he coped before with so much noise in his own head?
He didn’t really react to the kiss to his temple, but he was starting to question whether they were really just close friends?
After a while he’d calmed down enough to start doing other things, though he was clearly still trying to digest everything he’d been told. After a while he couldn’t stand how quiet it was in the apartment, so he turned on the TV. When it came to music he still gravitated towards the same general taste. But when it came to programming...well perhaps it was because of the time of day it was? But he ended up watching trashy women's talk shows.
When it came time to make dinner, Chuuya was keen to continue having a go at cooking.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 26, 2020 21:46:51 GMT
Dazai let Chuuya decide the rest of their day. Hoping that his unconscious decisions were somehow a clue that he was coming back.
While Chuuya pattered around in the kitchen Dazai pulled out his laptop and checked over emails from his colleagues.
Kunikida had sent a lengthy message about the back log of paperwork he'd just had to handle.
Yosano sent over images from Chuuya's brain scans, reminding Dazai to pay attention if Chuuya complained of any pain in the injured areas.
The final email was from Kyouka. It wasn't a request, though she framed it that way. She would be the courier for the next trip. Dazai smiled, he always knew she was a smart girl. No doubt Atsushi spoke at length of the nightmare that had been his delivery with Akutagawa breathing down his neck.
He wondered if he should tell Chuuya about the other member of his little family. He didn't mention her a lot, but Chuuya always softened in her presence and Kyouka only ever had kind words to say of her onii-san.
His body was itchy that night and he tossed and turned trying to will the urge away until he could no longer ignore it
He held his breath and listened for the sounds of Chuuya's snores, making sure he wasn't also still awake.
He fisted his cock and despite the urgency he couldn't just jerk fast and get it done. No, his body demanded more attention than that. He tried to keep Chuuya out of his thoughts, it wouldn't be right. But somehow the image of him in Dazai's pajamas wouldn't leave.
He thought of the last time they'd left their clothes strewn across the apartment as they made their way up to Chuuya's bedroom.
They didn't even get a chance to go beyond rutting against each other. Neither had the desire to stop touching the other. Instead they kissed, moaned, and rocked their bodies together until they came.
Dazai let out a soft breath as he crested over the edge and spilled into a tissue. He shut his eyes and hoped, maybe now he could finally sleep.
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Post by Behax on Apr 26, 2020 23:15:15 GMT
On the floor above, Chuuya twitched in his sleep. His dreams had begun to take a turn. He let out a soft whimper as he turned over. He lay on his side, curling up on himself almost as if he was in pain.
His dream turned turbulent, violent even. He could see bodies, and everything was covered in a dark red eerie light. But the worst part was the pain. It ripped through his body, almost paralysing him. He could hear this awful laughter ringing in his ears, and when he looked down his hands were covered in blood.
First came the scream, full of pain and anguish. Second came the quake which shook the whole apartment. People in the whole building below would have felt it, the way everything just shuddered. Fortunately the building was exceedingly well reinforced, enough to withstand at least that much, though they would be in trouble if it continued.
Chuuya was curled up on himself in his bed, his covers kicked off, and his hands in his hair covering his ears. The glow of his ability surrounded him, and there was a hefty crack up the wall.
This wouldn’t be Dazai’s first experience of this, but it had been a while. More so because Dazai was usually there to wake Chuuya before he got too deep in his nightmare, but also because he was a bit of an octopus, and the physical contact stopped the ability fallout of Chuuya’s bad dreams.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 27, 2020 15:52:19 GMT
Dazai has never been a heavy sleeper. Every sound and movement could easily mean danger.
His eyes were open and he was moving before the room began to shake. This was a painfully familiar experience.
Chuuya never told him what he saw in his dreams. But Dazai could guess. If they were anything lkke his own.
He smashed his knee into the stairs trying to run up, smacking his chin hard enough that he bit his lip.
Chuuya's wall was cracked and he writhed in the maelstrom of his own ability. Familiar with the consequences of sneaking up on him Dazai's first act was a careful touch. Far enough away that he was safe from being punched or thrown across the room
When Chuuya dropped to the bed Dazai waited, breathing heavily, completely unaware of the blood dripping down his chin.
"Chuuya," he whispered, carefully climbing onto the bed. "It's over, you're home, you're safe."
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Post by Behax on Apr 27, 2020 17:04:30 GMT
It took a moment to pull Chuuya out of it completely. He was so deep in it that he kept twitching, it took repeated calls of his name, and Dazai pulling Chuuya into his lap to cradle him before Chuuya managed to fully shake free of his nightmare. He buried his face in the man’s collar, and huddled as close to Dazai as he physically could, seeking comfort and safety. He was trembling, and breathing a little heavily.
The nightmares were a terrible experience for Chuuya in general, but now he didn’t even have the context to understand them. Before he lost his memory Chuuya at least knew where such imagery came from, and understood why it was painful. Now he didn’t even understand what he’d seen.
For a long time the room was silent, only filled by Chuuya’s terrified, shaky breaths. With one hand he was holding tightly to Dazai’s shirt. He didn’t even know how to begin articulating what he had seen in his dream. For Dazai it must have been like holding a terrified child.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 27, 2020 17:17:03 GMT
In the silence that followed Dazai's voice began to sing.
It was soft at first, his voice cracking as he remembered the lyrics.
An old lullaby, the one mother's used to hush their children when they woke up crying.
Even still he kept singing, it was the only thing he could think to do. He sang and let his own tears fall softly as he did. He could feel Chuuya's fists clenching and unclenching but his breathing began to even out when Dazai finally reached the end of the song.
Hushabye sleep
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Post by Behax on Apr 27, 2020 19:54:13 GMT
It didn’t put Chuuya to sleep, but it was somewhat calming. He stayed snuggled close to Dazai, making Chuuya seem almost smaller than he actually was. Dazai was likely the only person to have ever seen Chuuya this vulnerable. He was certainly the only person who had ever been there for his nightmares before.
“Osamu? Can…...Can you stay….please?”
He couldn’t say why, but he felt safe, he felt secure with Dazai there. It was no guarantee that the nightmare wouldn’t come back, but he at least felt like it was less likely with Dazai there. It also felt familiar, to be held in his arms. Like this wasn’t the first time Dazai had had to do something like this.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 27, 2020 20:00:52 GMT
Dazai shivered at the way his name sounded. For the first time since Chuuya opened his eyes and didn't know who he was, Dazai didn't feel a twinge of pain hearing Chuuya say his name.
"I'm not leaving," he whispered. "I'll stay as long as you want me to."
He coaxed Chuuya into laying back down, wrapped his arms around him and resumed humming the song from before. He skimmed fingers up and down Chuuya's arms, cheeks, pet his hair. All the things he would do for Chuuya before all this.
He hoped it would be enough, that Chuuya would sleep and Dazai's presence alone would keep the terrors at bay.
"You're not a monster," he whispered so quiet Chuuya would have to not be breathing to hear it. It was something he always told him when Chuuya would wake up gasping for air staring down at his hands like they would destroy everything he touched.
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Post by Behax on Apr 27, 2020 21:13:37 GMT
Chuuya let Dazai lay him back down, and pull the covers over them. It felt oddly familiar, like this wasn’t the first time. He snuggled close to Dazai for warmth and comfort. Just feeling Dazai there, and the quietness of his own mind put him at ease. It took awhile but he did eventually fall asleep again, and fortunately for the both of them he didn’t have a second nightmare that night.
When he woke up in the morning, it was still in Dazai’s warm embrace, and something about it just felt right.
He looked up at Dazai in the dim light, and frowned when he noticed the dried blood that still clung to his chin, and his shirt from where he’d hurt himself in his haste to get up the stairs the night before. Chuuya reached up to wipe it away, hesitating a little.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 27, 2020 22:20:26 GMT
Dazai was warm and happy, he smiled in his sleep feeling the body in his arms. "Mmmmm, Chuuya," he sighed, feeling fingers brush against his chin. He licked his dry lips and tasted blood, the memory of what had happened the night before flooding him in an instant. He stopped himself from flinching or jerking away, instead he slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the man in his arms.
"morning," he rasped, unable and unwilling to let him go.
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Post by Behax on Apr 28, 2020 13:41:42 GMT
“Morning….”
Chuuya had a contemplative look on his face, like he was deep in thought. The way he scowled with concentration hadn’t changed. He knew instinctively that this wasn’t the first time he’d woken up in Dazai’s arms. He found himself having some vague recollections of similar instances.
“You have blood on your face….and your shirt….” It wasn’t a lot, but enough for Chuuya to be a little concerned.
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Post by quinnlocke on Apr 28, 2020 14:06:42 GMT
Dazai licked his lips and brought his thumb up to wipe his chin.
"I fell, running up the stairs. I'm pretty sure the moment I go to stand I'm gonna feel how badly I hit my knee too."
Neither of them seemed to actually be willing to let the other go. Dazai kept waiting for Chuuya to push him away, or stiffen up, but it didn't happen, this was entirely too natural for either of them to want to let go of.
"Are you...okay?" He asked, not even sure how to begin explaining what Chuuya probably saw.
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